4 unique stories, told in their own words from their different perspectives. All stories are anonymous for confidentiality.
A Man’s Story
“Back in August 2010, my long-term girlfriend and I decided to have an abortion. After it things were fine and our relationship seemed to grow between then and the nine-month mark. However, at that point something changed in her and it resulted in her pushing me severely away and breaking up with me. Knowing that the break up was because she was hurt and not the support I gave her, I still try to be there for her. But now at this point she wants nothing to do to me and the help I want to give her. The abortion has taken a huge toll on my mental and emotional wellbeing as the loss of my child and future wife were taken from me. Every day I pray that I can help the woman I love so much to not only help get past her struggles, and seek the help that she so desperately needs, but to also have her accept me back as her man. Where do I turn? How do I fight this emptiness? I feel like I’m dying inside.”
A Teenage Girl’s Story
“I never wanted to get an abortion but my ex-boyfriend was pressuring me so much to get it and when my mom found out she wanted me out of the house. She was always asking “what are u going to do with a baby” and she also said a baby would ruin my life. The same as my ex he said we were too young and that he wasn’t ready and that I wasn’t ready to be a mother. My mom took me to her doctor and he told me the same thing. Then that Saturday I went again and I saw my little baby for the first and last time. Even though I told my mom and the doctor I wanted to do it, I really didn’t want to do it. Everyone told me I’m too young to have a baby. I’m just 15 and I know I’m young but I could’ve done it. Now I can’t even sleep or think, all I do is think about my baby it’s been like 7 months and I still can’t overcome it. I just wish I could get a time machine or that all of this is a nightmare and I would wake up already.”
An Adult Woman’s Story
“I was 38 when I had my abortion. I have 3 children who are almost grown already. I am divorced and started seeing this awesome guy. I really thought he was going to be the one for me. We had sex one time and that is all it took. I went to work one day and started having some really bad cramping and was getting sick a lot. I went and took a home pregnancy test and it came out positive. I started freaking out right off the bat. Doctors had told me years ago, not to have any more kids because I almost died with my last pregnancy. I never told my children I was pregnant and don’t plan to. I did tell my boyfriend after several attempts. I knew he didn’t want kids and I didn’t want any more myself. We decided as a couple to abort the baby. We couldn’t face the might have been and could be’s. Now several months later it is starting to hit me hard. I was fine until my boyfriend started being distant and not talking to me. I can’t handle this. Did we make the wrong choice? I have had times I have went to the store and seen people with their babies and wondered what mine would have looked like. Would it look like me or their daddy? This has ruined our relationship and caused many tears. I kind of wish I would have had my baby. I thought this would be easy but it isn’t. A lot of my friends started getting pregnant and asking me to baby showers and sending me pictures of their babies. This is so hard. I didn’t tell them what I went through because it isn’t their business. If you are reading this and trying to make up your mind. Think long and hard to make your decision. Once it is done it is done and you can’t change it. You will think of your baby often because there are reminders everywhere.”
A Mother’s Story
“I convinced my 15-year-old daughter to get an abortion and now I feel so guilty and I see how it’s affecting her. Every month she gets depressed and cries in her room. It has been a year. I never thought it would affect her like this and I feel so angry at myself and now every month I get depressed and cry also. I feel so responsible and I am so distraught over this. I thought it was ok with her when I took her to get the abortion. I thought everything would go back to normal. I was so wrong and I am dying inside every day when I look at her. I feel so guilty and so horrible with myself. She writes letters to her unborn child and I feel so angry because if I would have known how she really felt, I would have been a stronger person for her. She came to me for advice and she told me that she wanted to keep the baby and I was just so shocked and so scared and worried about what people would think and my family too because she was so young. I looked at abortion from a medical point of view and that if done early enough it really wasn’t such a big deal. I really wished that we would have gone to counseling before getting the procedure done because I know that we wouldn’t be in this situation at all. After counseling, I know she would have had the baby. We did this without thinking and we rushed into this and now we regret… Now I’m scared for her mental state because she writes in her letters that she can’t wait to see the baby in heaven.”
As you can see from these stories, Abortion Changes You. No matter what role you play in the story, it is impossible to remain unaffected. Sometimes an abortion experience can create intense emotions that you may not feel equipped to deal with on your own*. You are not alone and we are here to listen. Please contact us today and schedule an appointment to speak with one of our trained client advocates. All of our services are free and confidential.
* If you or someone you know is considering or planning to hurt oneself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Options Health is a safe place where you can confidentially come and discuss sexual health, pregnancy, and relationship issues with one of our client advocates. Feel free to contact us today to take advantage of our free services, including pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, abortion alternative counseling and even after abortion counseling. We are here for you and ready to listen!
Sources:
Abortion Changes You. http://www.abortionchangesyou.com/stories
