Adoption: A Third Option

April 5, 2022

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you might think that having an abortion or choosing to parent are the only two options available to you. Along with many other people, adoption may never really enter your mind. If it is brought up, your first thought might be, “I could never give my baby away”.

However, in a lot of cases, adoption can be quite the opposite. Creating an adoption plan provides the baby the gift of life, a stable family with their adoptive parents, and a bright future. It is not an easy decision by any means, but the good news is that anyone considering adoption has the opportunity to customize the adoption to their needs and desires and have a lot of support along the way.

Adoption has changed quite a bit over the years and the vast majority of infant adoptions in the United States today involve some form of openness; the child’s original parents and adoptive parents exchange identifying information and have some form of contact before and after the adoption is finalized. There is wider acceptance of the fact that children are best served when they maintain family connections and have access to ongoing communication with their original parents. For example, lifesaving health care information may be unknown to the child’s original family at the time of the adoption, so the ongoing communication between the original and adoptive families is essential for the child’s emotional and medical well-being.

As the original parents in an open adoption you can usually choose:

  • Your child’s parents from a list of thoroughly assessed and screened applicants.
  • To email, talk to, or even meet the adoptive parents before your baby is born.
  • To name your baby and decide how things will be handled in the labor and delivery room.
  • To have ongoing contact including photos, phone calls, email, text, and even visits.

Also, at most adoption agencies:

  • Adoptive services are FREE to the birth mother
  • Assistance with medical and living expenses is available in many cases.
  • Free & confidential counseling is available no matter what you decide.
  • You can make the final decision about adoption after the baby is born.


Adoption, like marriage, has the potential to join families. The roles that clarity, boundaries, communication skills, self-awareness, honesty, respect, trust, and tact play to make marriages and extended biological families function well also help adoption relationships thrive. The option of adoption provides a life-giving alternative to women who are not prepared for parenting, or who do not want to interrupt their education or career plans. As an alternate option to abortion and parenting, an open adoption provides a way to experience “the joy of knowing your child, seeing how your child is growing and changing and seeing who they become”.

If you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy, Options Health is a safe place where you can confidentially come and discuss your options with a patient advocate.  Contact us today to make an appointment for a free confirmation pregnancy test and options consultation. We are here for you and ready to listen!

“I might consider adoption if…” booklet by Julie Stobbe 2012
“You might think… I Could Never Give My Baby Away” Brochure – Lifetime Adoption
AdoptHelp brochure – “Pregnant? Explore Adoption”
“Ten Questions Expectant Mothers Ask about Adoption” Bethany brochure