Tips and lists on how to be a good leader are endless.  In fact, simply google “how to be a good leader”, and you will be inundated with hundreds of links pointing you to the characteristics of what it takes to be a leader.  However, many of these links have one thing in common… they are related to business or being a leader in the workforce.  Not many of them are related to being a leader in relationships, specifically as a parent, or even more specifically, as a father.

As a father, a good leader is someone who does 2 things; they don’t just lead, they listen.  Your children are always watching and listening to how you live.  They are living sponges, absorbing everything that you say and do.  The importance of being a good leader as a father cannot be stressed enough.  You have the privilege to lead them through the victories and wins, as well as the pitfalls and dangers, and bring them into adulthood as amazing people who will make a difference in the world.

In this post, we will look at the two things that make a good leader: Leading and Listening.

 

LEADING.  Leading involves 3 components; Leading in expectations, leading in challenges, and leading in boundaries.  The real trick is to do all of this in a way that is healthy for everyone.

• Expectations.  Leading in expectations requires that the expectations be age-appropriate. Set expectations that give your children a personal goal to reach; a goal that fits their skills and temperament. Make sure to never let expectations get in the way of your love and acceptance of your child.
• Challenges.  Leading in challenges means your child should never feel they are less loved or less valuable if they don’t reach their goals. This is a chance for you to encourage them and equip them with tools to help them to go further; so there should never be any consequences or demeaning talk.
• Boundaries.  Leading in boundaries requires the establishment of clear boundaries, for them and for you.  Boundaries communicate respect.  When you respect someone’s boundaries, you are showing them that you respect them.  Likewise, when your child stays within a boundary that you set, they are showing you respect.

 

LISTENING.  Leading through listening involves 3 components; seeking, responding, and being proactive. The listening part of leading allows you to respond to your child’s true needs.  This takes diligence and discipline to be consistent.

• Seeking.  Seeking is very intentional on your part.  This component of listening requires asking good questions that draw your children out.  The questions need to be open-ended and relevant to what is going on in their lives.
• Responding.  After asking those open-ended and relevant questions, the next step is responding.  Funny enough, the first step of responding is to be quiet and carefully consider the best way to add your perspective, introduce correction, or encourage your child.
• Proactive.  Being proactive as you lead through listening is crucial.  This state of being engaged with your child is where you can ask further questions that allow you to get a full picture of your children and what they are experiencing, and in turn, allow you to clearly see the best way to lead them.

 

Did you know we can help you to be a good leader in your home?  Our fatherhood program, Fathers in Training (FIT), was created to parallel our Earn While You Learn program for mothers. FIT is a free program that will challenge you to be the best father you can be by walking alongside you through our skill-building classes and mentorship.  If you are interested in enrolling in our FIT program, contact us today!

Options Health is a safe place where you can confidentially come and discuss sexual health, pregnancy, and relationship issues.  Feel free to contact us today to take advantage of our free services, including pregnancy testing, ultrasound, options consultation, STI testing for Chlamydia & Gonorrhea, parenting education, and abortion aftercare.  Call us or text us to schedule an appointment.  We are here for you and ready to listen!